Full Question: Help, I feel like such an outsider. I work for a family-owned business, where everyone comes from the same background. Also, I am not from the same ethnic group as the owners and other non-family employees, nor am I from the same race. I really like this job, but feel like my difference is going to keep me from getting ahead in my career in this company.
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I am going to guess that you stand out the most in your company because your difference is very obvious and this is what’s really bothering you. You want to know how to feel comfortable in an environment that in past times would have been impossible, un-imaginable or unattainable in your particular case.
I will speculate that you, your experience and your personality are really something that is needed in this organization. Otherwise, they would not have chosen you. So, give yourself credit for being worthy of being chosen.
Secondly, you must live up to and beyond to your own potential. You may be doing some "first evers" and breaking down some barriers in your efforts to do a great (not good) job. Please notice that I indicated great, because good may not be good enough in this case and you may have some proving to do. No doubt, someone's reputation may be riding on your performance, while someone else may be expecting (and maybe even hoping) you fail. But do not take a negative approach. Do not let your fear and anxieties overcome you and do not settle for a mediocre performance, attendance, or behavior from yourself.
While you may think you have nothing to prove to anyone, you are still only as good as your last best performance. Do your homework by observing corporate behavior and decide which factors you will be willing to adapt into your own style of communication and behavior. This doesn’t mean you have to be different than who you are, but you must adapt in a way that is equitable and that assimilates you into their culture.
Don't barge into conversations or casual employee groupings, but rather allow yourself time to feel comfortable enough to join in as a contemporary. Learn to listen, observe and analyze.
Also, allow yourself to be open enough and approachable so your co-workers will learn from you about your culture and your ethnic group or race. You might be the first opportunity any one of them has had to observe up close someone so different from themselves. You may find yourself smashing stereotypical beliefs as you go along. But your survival in this job is key as long as you are building a career. Remember every career is made up of jobs turned into stepping stones that lead to the next phase of your life and career.
Whatever you take from this experience, know that you will also have had a chance to broaden your own understanding of another culture and business type. I believe that if you are successful on this job - you will take with you some lifelong friendships and I totally applaud you for recognizing that you have a few hurdles to overcome.
If, after a time, you feel that have reached a career plateau here, do not take a negative initiative. Instead, build as much goodwill as possible and quietly observe if other career opportunities exist in this company for you. If you are miserable in this experience, discreetly plan your exit from this job because it may become harder to endure the longer you are there.