Feel Good in Spite of Bosses Who Kill Your Enthusiasm

Oh, how I wished for acknowledgement that I was doing it right.  It never came.  I worked for a hardly-ever-communicate with me manager.

Over-achiever that I am, who is used to words of praise and enthusiasm from co-workers and supervisors.  I bask in the sunshine of their acknowledgement and ace my performance every time.  My track record is sterling, but with this manager, I inflict self doubt upon myself all the time.

Even when speaking to this individual personally, who has never looked directly at me or acknowledged my presence.  It is very disengaging and always leave me feeling uneasy – like I had stepped onto some untrodden sacred ground.  I remembered wanting to speak further to him about it, but I was afraid.  How would he react?  How would I say to him, “You don’t look at me when I speak to you”?  How could I communicate with someone who wouldn’t even look at me?  Even worse, how was I supposed to know when I did something wrong?  I had been used to the most accommodating supervisors, who readily sought my involvement in their projects and who always heaped constructive and positive feedback in my direction.  With longing, I remembered how I excelled under their tutelage and direction.

When I mentioned my situation to a coworker, she suggested that the next time I had to approach this individual about something that I should act as if he had stopped whatever he was doing and had given me his undivided attention.  She told me the same incidence happened to her sometimes.  I couldn’t believe my ears--I thought I was the only one who felt totally useless around this manager.

Hard that it was, I took the advice and approached him full steam ahead, with only a brief awareness that I still seemed to be ignored.  It worked or at least it seemed to – And II got the answer I needed.  I felt two sensations – relief and possibility that I just might be able to continue working in this environment in spite of the management style over me.

The situation improved a little, and in several years’ time, I never forgot what it felt like to be ignored by someone who held power over my success on the job in his possession.  I moved on and away, but the experience stayed with me and I’ve actually observed the same behavior in some other situations and I am aware that when this happens, there is a downshift in enthusiasm.  I empathize with the person on the receiving end of this style of management .

Truthfully, can any organization afford to have their employees' enthusiasm evaporate because of a non-communicating manager?  I existed in a bottomless pit for years, never hearing once that I had done an excellent job, or being acknowledged for the extra time I put in to meet a deadline, or being offered a choice perk and doing the best job ever for problem-solving in the direst of situations and saving this individual embarrassment and saving his back more times than I can count.  I survived but I wouldn’t wish that management behavior on anyone.

Let us, here at CWW Career-wise Ways..."! extend hearty feelings of acceptance and appreciation to everyone who crosses our paths – If your manager doesn’t do it for you, browse the CWW site and let us fill you with positive inspiration through our Wise Ways Tips and let us inspire and empower you to feel good in spite of managers and bosses who do more to kill your enthusiasm than build it up.

Wishing you CWW Career-Wise Ways...!